Going to the FSA Conference

Hey Friends and Family,

We sent in our initial paperwork (was way easy, just a few papers) for ADOPTION. We are going through LDSFamily Services (LDSFS) and are just waiting for our bishop to send in his papers and for our caseworker to be assigned so we can have an intake interview and then get the really big amount of paperwork to do. In the mean time, we had to cancel our trip to Jackson Hole, as it collided with the best opportunity for us to get to know adoption better and complete our 6 week course of adoption classes in ONE WEEKEND! So we are going to that instead. I made this HUGE deal about it, thinking that Mike wasn't all the way on board the adoption boat with me and he basically let me know that I was thinking very wrong about that! It was a simple choice for him. He doesn't mind missing his family vacation this year, he doesn't mind at all. So, if ANY of you are interested in coming, it is open to the public, you all have to pay the same amount as us $30 EACH at the door, and follow this link to get more information.
Each day adopting sinks in a little deeper. I had a conversation with a birth mom last week, she gave her baby to a family sometime last year. She had a lot to tell me that I didn't know. She hopefully shed enough light about her situation to help me to understand where birth mom's are "coming from", what they are looking for, and what open adoption can mean and what closed adoption meant to her as a child growing up being one of those. I hope that makes sense, she was adopted years ago and it was a very closed adoption as most were in those days. (That sounds so funny!)
I do get scared about this though. Open adoption is so OPEN. And Mike and I have discussed it some and both of us are quite protective of keeping our children OURS. We want a baby that will fit in to the family picture (that may sound selfish to some of you, but it is very important to us) and so that the child won't feel as different as it could. We also don't want a birth mom that might want to take her baby back. This is still common. The birth mom I spoke with wanted to 3 weeks after placement. This terrifies me. But I know it happens. In my own family my older sister had three babies ready for adoption and their birth families just wouldn't let it be final. It was heartbreaking to us as a whole family, I can only imagine what it felt like to my sister and her husband. Mike and I are aware that it isn't going to be easy. It isn't going to be pain free, or FREE. We know that Heavenly Father isn't going to bless my womb to carry. (There is a VERY personal story behind that, and I will not be posting it.) I haven't had as direct an answer about adopting as I have had about that, so that makes me a bit nervous. I know there are couples that wait for days, some for weeks, some for months and some for YEARS to hear that they are even being looked at as prospective adoptive parents. There are so many options, so many opportunities to take advantage of, or loose advantage of.
So off we go in August to the FSA Conference to learn more, and hopefully learn just the right things to keep us afloat emotionally, physically and financially. Learn just the right things to help this process go smoothly.
There is a part of me that is sad that I get to adopt. But there has always been a part of me that wanted to! Even if I didn't have to. But now it is a have to, and that makes it different. Changes it.
I do hope that you all enjoy your day. I know I will! I'm going to take my doggie for a walk and water my garden and work on a blanket for one of my friends expecting an adoption to come through soon. Wish us ALL good luck!

Coon Update

The very next night I was out late with my BFF Lindsay (thanks for visiting with ME!!) And while Mike and Elise were on their way home from grandma's next door on the bikes (oh they had Blue with them too) a baby raccoon just came right out of the grass at them. It didn't attack them, but it wasn't very excited about Blue. Mike had Elise run to get a bucket to put it in. Mike held off Blue until she got back, Mike bucketed the lil coon and Elise put Blue in the backyard. Then Mike called me. I called Janis and she and the hubby came over right away to get Chocolate. #3 has quite a brown tinge to the fur. Janis said yesterday that there is one boy and two girls, but she can't remember which one is hitting puberty already!!
So there are all THREE babies. Janis reports that Chocolate is very active. The other two are quite mellow in comparison. Her dog caught a mouse in the house and she brought it out for them to eat, Chocolate caught one whiff and didn't want to share with the others, that mouse was GONE in a matter of seconds. I think they'll do well out in the wild. They are still eating good and obviously Chocolate knows what to do with a mouse! See coons ARE good to have around!

I am the Raccoon Baby Whisperer

I am the Raccoon Baby Whisperer, at least that is what Mike called me last night at 11 pm when we were walking to the house from placing the last of the two baby raccoons in the dog crate in the garage.

At around 9 pm I went walking over to my in-laws to pick Elise up. We'd left her there so we could go celebrate my book review being in the next issue of our local paper. As I was walking past the trees on the south of the driveway, I heard something in the tree, so I stopped to see what it was. I hadn't seen squirrels or anything in our trees so curiosity caught me. Then it was the beautiful masked eyes of one of the baby raccoons that caught my eye.

I stopped and listened and it was quietly calling out for something. Then another showed up. Knowing that just down the street a raccoon has lain dead for almost a week now, and knowing what time it was, I put two and two together and these must be her babies. They wouldn't have been out, and willing to come down a tree at 9 pm without their mother. I called back to them. They make a light rolling r sound, and a little peeping type hum.

I got my phone out and called around. Janis finally answered and talked to me about these cuties. I know she's a lover of all animals and figured she'd help me, and she is! I picked up Elise and begged Spencer to help me catch them so they wouldn't die from other causes (guns, cars, starvation). He agreed. We hunted in the barns for the live traps, finally found one. Then we set the trap and went to see them. They'd climbed back up into the hollow of the tree. But when they saw us, they started coming down! I called to them, we talked back and forth as they came closer and backed away and then came closer. Elise and I went for a 5 gallon bucket and lid. We figured they'd just come out of the tree right at us and we could catch them easier in that. Finally, Coconut came down to the very closest branches and Spencer nudged her into the bucket. Then I took her to the crate in the garage. Time for #2. New bucket, with cat food in it. Cocoa had a little bit harder time trusting us as we'd already taken Coconut away. But he came down on his own. All the way down the tree, feet first (like you and I would have) not head first like Coconut. He even tried to stick his head through the fence to get to me, the food in the bucket. So Spencer caught him in the bucket on the other side.

They spent the night in the garage, with fresh water, some cat and dog food and each other. I spent the night listening to Mike snore, and dreaming of raccoons at someone's house that I have never seen before. It was a restless night for us all I'm sure! When I checked on them after Mike left, I brought them some apple pieces. Mike had given them a browning banana. You'll see Coconut eating an apple piece above this.

Elise named them Coconut and Cocoa. I decided Coconut had to have been the one that came out of the tree easiest, because they practically fall out! Cocoa is a little more challenging to get, so the later is Cocoa. They squeeked and rr'd at me when I woke them to take their pictures. But they sure are cute!

What a way to end a really good day! I'm so glad that Janis is going to take her best care of them. She's a great person and I'm so glad that I know her! She's also just a big smiley! They will grow up at her house in Liberty with lots of other safe raccoons. She's going to let them live in her garage until they feel good enough to go out on their own. She'll send video and pictures to us as they grow, as she can see them. It will be fun to watch.

Playing Blog Catch-up

Ok, these pictures are really in a reverse order (I'm still figuring this out). For our annual Weatherston trip, we went to St. George again. We stayed at my friend's house, relaxed, played at the pool, shopped, and went to the Tuacahn to see Les Meserables! It was so HOT HOT HOT! Over 100 each day. We didn't check ANY thermometers to avoid the knowledge. We had a pretty good time. Chased lizards, watched movies. You'll see.

This sage brush caught my eye. All alone on this sandy mountain. And it was doing well.

We hiked to the top of a really hard sand mountain. Elise spotted some words on the mountain. She discovered them, if you ask her! She will go down in history as the girl who discovered the names on the wall. We couldn't pass up the opportunity to capture this memory, and all of us got out of our cars in Snow Canyon, in over 100 degrees and HIKED! We are so crazy. But we lived!

Here's my mother. She is a trooper to get out in that heat, especially in black shorts!

Mike, my mom, and my sister Joyce didn't hike to the top of the mountain to get close to the names. But this shows just how high up we were. I even had to zoom in to get a good picture.

Here is Elise, looking up at the names and Uncle Doug and Uncle David.

They got right up there to see those names. They were almost as excited as Elise was.

My "hot" brother David, he's 22 and looking for dates! So, if you know anyone... He's a dork!

Before going to Snow Canyon, we went to dinner at the Pizza Factory. The original joint is the BEST place to get pizza and pasta. Next door there was a cute little shop where we changed Elise's clothes and found stream and firetruck to pose with! Still hot outside. Just hot, and dry.

Ah, we went swimming a lot. This is the only picture I got of Elise. We were headed home, and she is obviously not happy about it. Too bad!

While the girls went shopping, the boys went looking for things to do. They found a mini car show. Not too bad for boyish entertainment. I wouldn't have minded seeing it.

Some time during the trip, Mike and Elise hunted for lizards. They spent about a half hour looking. It was still really warm out, but it was in the evening. They caught one.

There are lots of other things we did that are on Mike's camera.
We had a blast. Thanks Kelly & Ross!

Checking in on old friends....

I spent a completely uninterrupted hour cruising through some of my high school friends' blogs. I may be a completely self centered person for totally not wanting to go to my reunion and having that feeling of complete elation at knowing that I will be away for a family trip that weekend. And now I feel quite guilty and like I missed out on so much in high school, and on so many great amazing terrific people. I always thought I had friends and enough of them. But now I realize that I really could have had more, but given our family situation I really didn't have the time to make more friends than really had time for me and understood quickly what my family was going through. After school I came home to cook dinner, clean the house, take care of my two younger sibs, and most importantly, care for my dying father. I only missed one football game my senior year (I of course, if anyone remembers, had my eyes on the ball at all times and was not in any way looking at anyone I shouldn't have been! ;) I was totally and completely in love with someone that was on the team and I still miss him, but we've gone our separate ways and that has turned out darned good for both of us!) But mostly I cared for my father. Helped him with everything from a scratch, to the bathroom, dinner and bedtime, reading, TV channel surfing, you name it we all got to help do it. My mom stayed at home with him during the day so that we kids could go to school, and she took a night shift at work. When I graduated from Bonneville, I was so excited to be done with so many things and to leave them all behind, but I missed out on getting to know SO MANY of them SO MUCH BETTER!!

I will never forget the kind letter I got from Trudy Christopolous after my father died, I still have the bear and it warms my heart each time I see it. I won't ever forget the flowers and the hugs from several of my other friends. For the friends that drove far that I'd met in college to be with me just that one day. And, of course, I'll never forget seeing Nicole Tippets and Kevin Sanders at the Star Wars movie that night after the first viewing, I was out with my future husband. They were shocked to see me out, but I just couldn't be in the house. I had to leave, and laugh. Thank you Mike for taking me, and for "not dating" me for 3 months and then having a near shot-gun wedding with me that December at the threat of losing your head by my mother!

I'm so grateful that someone invented the computer, the internet, and blogging so that I can get to know some people that I admired and watched from a safe distance.

Today I cruised through Jamie Westinskow's, Whitney Winsor's, and Amy and Mark Drake's blogs. All of these people were ones that I watched. I've known Jamie since elementary school! I have pictures of her at my 8th birthday party at the 7th street skate park. She danced so well and was so kind and quiet. I never knew anyone who didn't like her. My heart ached so bad when Jamie got in her car accident and her mother died. I cried for days! I cried for happiness and sorrow when she married and her announcement in the paper was like mine, missing a parent. I wanted to cry out loud for joy and sorrow when I read Whit's blog and discovered that she too had had problems conceiving and she felt in her soul where to go to get the help (and the babies) that were coming to her!! I'm so happy for her and Bryce! What blessings. We had some science class together and had a blast. She is so sweet now, just as she was then, and I have looked and watched for her when driving through town. Hoping that I'd see her and be able to catch up with her because she was one of very few whom I found to be real and approachable AND a cheerleader. A rare combination! Amy and Mark were both people that I wanted to know better. Mark was in the spotlight with being in the student body and class presidencies, Amy played soccer and basketball and she was so smart and NICE. I am very glad that they were able to get married and have their own miracle baby. He is the best of both of them and so lucky to have such great parents. They are also so blessed to have each other, to have that much history.

All of these people had an impact in my life, as I watched them in the halls. Each of them were kind to others and happy about being there. I read about them now and realize that they haven't changed. I think now I'll hold on to them, get to know them better NOW because I couldn't before. I love my new friends I've made as a grown up (who in the world thinks they are a grown up? I still feel like I'm 12!). Linds, Brandi, and my 3 Karen's are the best! Each of them is so unique and special to me.

I guess, all that said, I wish I could go to the reunion a lot more. I've already paid for this incredible family trip and can't miss it. And in fact I am praying daily that we don't re-inact the bone breaking, the ER weekend, or the bills that followed us home. There truly is no better vacation than one that you don't have to pay for for MONTHS afterward! We pay for it up front or we just don't go. I love that. So if any of my high school buddies read this, let me know how to contact you beyond classmates.com (such a terrible website) and if you're blogging and where I can reach you, or watch you in amazement at the incredible things you are able to do. I'll always be a quiet person in a crowd, and a noisy (and possibly nosy, as I thrive on the little details no matter how heartbreaking or gross) close friend, but I'll love you all equally. Have fun at the reunion, make connections and show off your kids and your husbands and your wives and your trips and best of all, show your hearts. Let someone else know that you missed them after that June 5th day at Weber State.

Go Lakers!