Checking in on old friends....

I spent a completely uninterrupted hour cruising through some of my high school friends' blogs. I may be a completely self centered person for totally not wanting to go to my reunion and having that feeling of complete elation at knowing that I will be away for a family trip that weekend. And now I feel quite guilty and like I missed out on so much in high school, and on so many great amazing terrific people. I always thought I had friends and enough of them. But now I realize that I really could have had more, but given our family situation I really didn't have the time to make more friends than really had time for me and understood quickly what my family was going through. After school I came home to cook dinner, clean the house, take care of my two younger sibs, and most importantly, care for my dying father. I only missed one football game my senior year (I of course, if anyone remembers, had my eyes on the ball at all times and was not in any way looking at anyone I shouldn't have been! ;) I was totally and completely in love with someone that was on the team and I still miss him, but we've gone our separate ways and that has turned out darned good for both of us!) But mostly I cared for my father. Helped him with everything from a scratch, to the bathroom, dinner and bedtime, reading, TV channel surfing, you name it we all got to help do it. My mom stayed at home with him during the day so that we kids could go to school, and she took a night shift at work. When I graduated from Bonneville, I was so excited to be done with so many things and to leave them all behind, but I missed out on getting to know SO MANY of them SO MUCH BETTER!!

I will never forget the kind letter I got from Trudy Christopolous after my father died, I still have the bear and it warms my heart each time I see it. I won't ever forget the flowers and the hugs from several of my other friends. For the friends that drove far that I'd met in college to be with me just that one day. And, of course, I'll never forget seeing Nicole Tippets and Kevin Sanders at the Star Wars movie that night after the first viewing, I was out with my future husband. They were shocked to see me out, but I just couldn't be in the house. I had to leave, and laugh. Thank you Mike for taking me, and for "not dating" me for 3 months and then having a near shot-gun wedding with me that December at the threat of losing your head by my mother!

I'm so grateful that someone invented the computer, the internet, and blogging so that I can get to know some people that I admired and watched from a safe distance.

Today I cruised through Jamie Westinskow's, Whitney Winsor's, and Amy and Mark Drake's blogs. All of these people were ones that I watched. I've known Jamie since elementary school! I have pictures of her at my 8th birthday party at the 7th street skate park. She danced so well and was so kind and quiet. I never knew anyone who didn't like her. My heart ached so bad when Jamie got in her car accident and her mother died. I cried for days! I cried for happiness and sorrow when she married and her announcement in the paper was like mine, missing a parent. I wanted to cry out loud for joy and sorrow when I read Whit's blog and discovered that she too had had problems conceiving and she felt in her soul where to go to get the help (and the babies) that were coming to her!! I'm so happy for her and Bryce! What blessings. We had some science class together and had a blast. She is so sweet now, just as she was then, and I have looked and watched for her when driving through town. Hoping that I'd see her and be able to catch up with her because she was one of very few whom I found to be real and approachable AND a cheerleader. A rare combination! Amy and Mark were both people that I wanted to know better. Mark was in the spotlight with being in the student body and class presidencies, Amy played soccer and basketball and she was so smart and NICE. I am very glad that they were able to get married and have their own miracle baby. He is the best of both of them and so lucky to have such great parents. They are also so blessed to have each other, to have that much history.

All of these people had an impact in my life, as I watched them in the halls. Each of them were kind to others and happy about being there. I read about them now and realize that they haven't changed. I think now I'll hold on to them, get to know them better NOW because I couldn't before. I love my new friends I've made as a grown up (who in the world thinks they are a grown up? I still feel like I'm 12!). Linds, Brandi, and my 3 Karen's are the best! Each of them is so unique and special to me.

I guess, all that said, I wish I could go to the reunion a lot more. I've already paid for this incredible family trip and can't miss it. And in fact I am praying daily that we don't re-inact the bone breaking, the ER weekend, or the bills that followed us home. There truly is no better vacation than one that you don't have to pay for for MONTHS afterward! We pay for it up front or we just don't go. I love that. So if any of my high school buddies read this, let me know how to contact you beyond classmates.com (such a terrible website) and if you're blogging and where I can reach you, or watch you in amazement at the incredible things you are able to do. I'll always be a quiet person in a crowd, and a noisy (and possibly nosy, as I thrive on the little details no matter how heartbreaking or gross) close friend, but I'll love you all equally. Have fun at the reunion, make connections and show off your kids and your husbands and your wives and your trips and best of all, show your hearts. Let someone else know that you missed them after that June 5th day at Weber State.

Go Lakers!