Going to the FSA Conference

Hey Friends and Family,

We sent in our initial paperwork (was way easy, just a few papers) for ADOPTION. We are going through LDSFamily Services (LDSFS) and are just waiting for our bishop to send in his papers and for our caseworker to be assigned so we can have an intake interview and then get the really big amount of paperwork to do. In the mean time, we had to cancel our trip to Jackson Hole, as it collided with the best opportunity for us to get to know adoption better and complete our 6 week course of adoption classes in ONE WEEKEND! So we are going to that instead. I made this HUGE deal about it, thinking that Mike wasn't all the way on board the adoption boat with me and he basically let me know that I was thinking very wrong about that! It was a simple choice for him. He doesn't mind missing his family vacation this year, he doesn't mind at all. So, if ANY of you are interested in coming, it is open to the public, you all have to pay the same amount as us $30 EACH at the door, and follow this link to get more information.
Each day adopting sinks in a little deeper. I had a conversation with a birth mom last week, she gave her baby to a family sometime last year. She had a lot to tell me that I didn't know. She hopefully shed enough light about her situation to help me to understand where birth mom's are "coming from", what they are looking for, and what open adoption can mean and what closed adoption meant to her as a child growing up being one of those. I hope that makes sense, she was adopted years ago and it was a very closed adoption as most were in those days. (That sounds so funny!)
I do get scared about this though. Open adoption is so OPEN. And Mike and I have discussed it some and both of us are quite protective of keeping our children OURS. We want a baby that will fit in to the family picture (that may sound selfish to some of you, but it is very important to us) and so that the child won't feel as different as it could. We also don't want a birth mom that might want to take her baby back. This is still common. The birth mom I spoke with wanted to 3 weeks after placement. This terrifies me. But I know it happens. In my own family my older sister had three babies ready for adoption and their birth families just wouldn't let it be final. It was heartbreaking to us as a whole family, I can only imagine what it felt like to my sister and her husband. Mike and I are aware that it isn't going to be easy. It isn't going to be pain free, or FREE. We know that Heavenly Father isn't going to bless my womb to carry. (There is a VERY personal story behind that, and I will not be posting it.) I haven't had as direct an answer about adopting as I have had about that, so that makes me a bit nervous. I know there are couples that wait for days, some for weeks, some for months and some for YEARS to hear that they are even being looked at as prospective adoptive parents. There are so many options, so many opportunities to take advantage of, or loose advantage of.
So off we go in August to the FSA Conference to learn more, and hopefully learn just the right things to keep us afloat emotionally, physically and financially. Learn just the right things to help this process go smoothly.
There is a part of me that is sad that I get to adopt. But there has always been a part of me that wanted to! Even if I didn't have to. But now it is a have to, and that makes it different. Changes it.
I do hope that you all enjoy your day. I know I will! I'm going to take my doggie for a walk and water my garden and work on a blanket for one of my friends expecting an adoption to come through soon. Wish us ALL good luck!