How do I tell her? It is going to feel worse than pulling out a sliver in her foot; or really close to that feeling of panic and fear of learning her TWO best friends will be moving this summer and she'll have to start over in the best friends department; or that maybe, just maybe we won't be here in Eden forEVER.... It really is eating me up inside, I have no clue how to prepare her for the next blow and I know it is coming and I can't stop it. I feel helpless and scared and hurt FOR her. But Aunt Sharon has to sell her horses. It has played out like a daytime drama here at our house, but Lucky and Crystal are no longer 'welcome' on the property and will be up for sale in the coming weeks. Elise has LOVED not just horses, but these two horses in particular for her entire life. I know as a mother, as a person that she will get over it eventually.... but I know her well enough to know that this is going to be very hard for her. Likely the most challenging loss she's experienced so far in her life. We haven't told her yet because she's struggling still with the news of her two best friends moving out of state at the end of the school year. It has effected her grades, her attitude, seemingly her very core. I kind of feel like I'm standing behind her with a frying pan and I have to hit her with it... I have no option, but I can't do it... I can't move forward, I can't run away, I can't warn her again (we have warned her that this could happen, but the little darling rode her bike to Aunt Sharon's and offered her her ENTIRE piggy bank to buy them but we have no way of keeping them!) I don't like this feeling!! And I don't like the situation surrounding it, not at all.
I know she'll live through it; I'll live through it. We have so much to be grateful for. So many wonderful beautiful things around us. And she's still got Sky and Alli and riding lessons this summer...... but it doesn't take the sting away. It doesn't make it easy for me to watch and hope she comes running to my arms to cry, because she very likely won't. I can see her running to her room in tears and blaming me and Mike for years for not buying her horses a place to stay where they can be ridden and cared for and loved and cherished by none other than her.
But alas it must be. We can't. We tried. I tried. She tried.
I know she'll live through it; I'll live through it. We have so much to be grateful for. So many wonderful beautiful things around us. And she's still got Sky and Alli and riding lessons this summer...... but it doesn't take the sting away. It doesn't make it easy for me to watch and hope she comes running to my arms to cry, because she very likely won't. I can see her running to her room in tears and blaming me and Mike for years for not buying her horses a place to stay where they can be ridden and cared for and loved and cherished by none other than her.
But alas it must be. We can't. We tried. I tried. She tried.
4 comments:
Aw that is so sad. I'm so sorry! Saying goodbye to animals for any reason is sooooo hard! She will be okay, she has a great mom to help her through it!
It's always hard to go through something like this. She won't understand at all, I can almost guarantee that. It's the back yard flood all over again for me and never finding Cookie afterward. It's my parents taking Lady away while I'm at school without telling me. It's petting Shatzi's nose there on the vets table. These are the memories that stay with us for the rest of our lives, even at such a young age.
These are the stories that make us who we are though. These are the things that build our character and strength - to give up something we love, from lack of choice or because of making a wrong choice (in the case of Cotton). We learn from each event that happens in our lives, be they traumatic or funny or happy. Though it will be more devastating for you to tell her than I would wish on anyone, just remember that someday it will all be a distant memory that she will remember, not with sadness or a bitterness towards you, but with fondness at having had the chance to love something so much and to be loved in return.
I don't blame my parents for the loss of Shatzi, Cocoa, Lady, Cookie, Shadow or Cotton. I thank them for giving me the chance to love them and have them in my life. Each of them taught me valuable lessons in my childhood that I will never forget.
I had a quote on my FB profile for a while... "We must learn to forgive ourselves before we can allow others to forgive us." Be not too hard on yourself. Be there for her... if she runs into your arms, then don't let go until she does. If she doesn't run to you, then know that you have raised a strong and independent child - what more could you ask for?
She won't blame you... She wont understand right now, but she will eventually. She'll look back on the horses with fondness and love - not all children have that chance. Some of us wouldn't be the same people without having that chance though... She'll never forget them.
ladyblackwood.blogspot.com
Hmm, that is going to be tricky. She'll make it through, I know she will. Remind her that they're not hers, and that it's not up to you what Aunt Sharon does with them. She'll be alright, maybe it will help if you let her know how upset YOU are, and that it's OKAY to be upset..
Tell her they are going on missions!
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